loStWiThN014 on Xanga

loStWiThN014

Name: lisa
Country: United States
State: Kansas
Metro: Topeka
Birthday: 9/7/1989
Gender: Female

Interests: soccer,hangin with friends, bball, playing piano, running, guys, k state, pizza, partying, things and people that make me laugh, hayden games, INSIDE JOKES, talkin on the fone, movies, mall, random things, xanga, aim, california, THE BEACH, true friends, piercings, bracelets, fire, music...the shins, bob marley, coldplay, ben folds, tegan & sara, red hot chili peppers, foo fighters, taking back sunday, nirvana, led zep, the doors, jimi hendrix, the cars, dave matthews band, 311, white stripes, iron and wine, some HIM, old green day , some black sabbath, acdc, some boston, some offspring, three doors down, jack johnson, everclear, sugarcult, postal service, snow patrol, weezer, sublime, three doors down, funk, my chemical romance, semi sonic, blink, boxcar racer, sugarcult, shinedown, finch, muse, MxPx, brand new, ETC
Expertise: um soccer and music and guitar i guess....out of all the bands above these guys are my favs>>the shins, tears for fears, OAR, nirvana, RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, bob marley, 311, ben folds, led zep, coldplay, taking back sunday, the cars, the doors..
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Textiles

Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:

CrazyHyprGurli14
AIM:

soccerNrawk014
Yahoo:

UnitedScrLuvR14

Member Since: 6/28/2004

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~Hayden High School ppl~
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Posting Calendar

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Saturday, March 31, 2007

sooo it's been almost a year since ive last written in this? i must be really bored babysitting my sisters. ay.

Buoyant_by_asmodeus42

so much has changed over the year. especially lately. shit's happened, but at least we've learned from it. everyone's so much older now.

9:59 PM - 7 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

this summer is gonna be full of fun, late nights, love, happiness, and hella good memories. oh yes!

and minimal drama. because you know drama can always be expected. there just better be less than there has been lately.

i'm working at jersy mike's now, come visit me!

11:34 PM - 9 views - 6 eprops - 6 comments - email it

Sunday, March 26, 2006

so basically this spring break freakin rocked..and i def do NOT wanna go to school tomorrow morning.

ahhhhh MPtres- -
hottubbing, shopping on mass street, meeting new people, hangin with the boys till the wee hours of the morning, st. pattys day, movies, complete randomness and loving every minute of it - thats what it all about, bia.

there was no drama really and i didnt make any more of those bad decisions, for the most part. no random hookups! cuz those always end in drama or awkwardness. i got a lot closer to my girls, and hung out a lot with the boys i never really used to, that makes me happy!

first soccer game this wednesday. and of course we play a kc team..im excited .. but nervous!!

ooooh fall out boy concert is coming up in like a couple weeks...ahh its gonna kick!! ya liz and ali!..idk whos taking us, but jaime, laura, greg, steven, and nicole are goin..fun fun

i pretty much cant wait for summer...ahhhhh its gonna be love.

i made varsity team captain!!
def didnt see that coming. ahh im excited..for once in a long time i feel like im not a screwup

i fouuuuuuund you, miss new bootY

11:42 PM - 10 views - 10 eprops - 6 comments - email it

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me, I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me

Ouch, I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah, I think I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me, I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me, I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me

i've never felt like this before.  i'm so lost.  i told myself i'd make it better..and though i didnt fuck it up 
as much as i did last time, i still fucked up again.  this is all going downhill.  and i cant think of one 
good way to stop it.  stop everything in general.  im scaring myself.  if this is what its like now, and it
keeps going at this rate, im scared Shitless of what's to come.  i cant even explain it.  i wish i could,
to someone.  anyone.  but no one knows.

i'm nothing.

i just want to leave.  for a very long time.  california?  the beach, whatever..just someplace where its
serene and makes me happy.  a place where i can leave everything behind, and move forward with
the future.  stress free.  where the smallest things make me happy.  a place where i can't ruin my life 
like i am here.

theres a knot in the bottom of my stomach and i want it to go away.

9:17 PM - 10 views - 8 eprops - 4 comments - email it

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

i dont like how those certain songs can make you crazy. or thinking of those memories, those pure, innocent, beautiful memories that won't happen again.

my grandparents just called. before hanging up, my grandma told me she was proud of me.
i cant even describe how that made me feel. im such a liar if she thinks that. a liar who makes so many mistakes, and does wrong things. if they knew things they wouldnt be proud of me. if my family knew they wouldnt be proud. maybe they arent bad to other people, but they're bad to me. because all of the standards i had, i broke. all of the promises i had, are broken. mostly. i've done things i never said i would, seeping to levels i swore i'd never go to. being a hypocrite is one of the worst things..and i'm letting myself change. if someone were to meet me a month or so ago up to now, they would know someone different than i used to be. i know it could be a LOT worse, but i dont like this kind of failure.
i dont believe in second chances. i dont believe in starting over. whats done is done. i think that your actions mold you into who you are. i dont believe in love, in highschool at least. screw being giddy, its deceptive. i dont like how we all fall into the same trends. i dont like how people feed off drama, or when people play games. i dont like hidden agendas, or feeling vulnerable. i dont like being a hypocrite, or getting down on myself, or worst off all, not being strong enough. i dont like thinking this much, about too many things.

i need to do better than this. im going to try harder to forget the past, only using my mistakes to learn to never make them again.

i want summer.

I LIKE DEAD END SIGNS
they're kind,
they at least have the decency to let you know
you're going no where

10:14 PM - 5 views - 2 eprops - 1 comment - email it

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